Some days you can bear the circumstances that come your way with grace and dignity. Sometimes you can find the secret of contentment through the trials that assail you. There will be weeks where you are able to keep a smile on your face and find joy in the little things. And seasons where you can say with honesty that this is tough but you’re okay.
But some days it’s not okay.
Some days you are terrified of a body that won’t obey your commands and a future that looks ever uncertain. Sometimes you wonder if that guy that you like will ever be able to look past the baggage you carry, or if the relationship you long for will be a door that remains closed. There will be weeks where you are so very tired, that you don’t know where you will find the strength to put one foot in front of the other. And seasons when it feels like all you are doing is letting people down, trying and failing, falling endlessly short.
But what do we do on those days when the tears dry on our faces, when we cry out to God and nothing chages? When we wonder where a loving God can be in our suffering? When the darkness closes in and we feel so very alone?
We have to choose to carry on anyway.
We can choose to hold out the merciful truth to ourselves: that some days it’s okay to not be okay. That if we face trials that feel like they will break us, then we’re not doing life wrong. But perhaps instead we’re walking in Jesus’ well trodden footprints. Some days we will find ourselves in our own Garden of Gethsemane, pleading for the cup to pass. Sometimes the very things that leave us feeling torn to pieces, will be the very things that allow us to shine out God’s glory for all to see. Sometimes they have to demolish the ruin for the rebuilding to truly begin.
Emotions will change. Feelings come and go like waves on the seashore. This too will pass. Today may not be okay, but tomorrow holds a new beginning, the possibility of change. New pages of our stories are written every day we choose to show up.
And one day we will look to the horizon and see a glorious sunrise. We will know in our hearts what it means to be free. We will look back through the paths of our lives and see our Father walking beside us every step of the way.
In these days when it’s not okay, we will find a strength we never thought we had. We will learn what it truly means to praise God in the storm, to cling to hope and faith through the darkest nights. We will find a grit and determination that pulls us through, when all other feelings fade.
And on these days, when we feel so utterly isolated, we will discover we are not truly alone. We all have days when it’s not okay. But lives are made up of thousands of days, and perhaps that truth in itself, is enough to keep us dreaming of brighter tomorrows.